The Ultimate Addiction: An interview with Phaedrus

I met Phaedrus. He was back on campus after his summer internship, just like me. So we played the usual how was summers game for a few minutes. Somehow Phaedrus seemed to have changed. I had met him during his summer internship and he seemed a lot different. He had seemed to have lost a lot of his cynicism and generally was more enthusiastic about life. Now however it was like to talking to the good old Phaedrus once again. So i asked him if it was the city or campus life. Neither he said. What folowed was somewhat like an interview with me asking the questions and Phaedrus giving anwers.

Q:You seemed a little changed - improved if i daresay during your internship. Now however you seem to be back to your lazy self once again.
Phaedrus: Laziness. She is so seductive, so intoxicating. It feels so good to loose yourself in her. But she destroys your health and your social life.

Q:So basically you're lazy. Why do you refer to your own fault like it is some woman?
Phaedrus: Must be some complementarian thingy. I don't want to accept to myself that i am lazy. So i create an external personna, who represents my fault and shift the blame.

Q:But why a woman?
Phaedrus: Some Fruedian fundae i presume. But does it really matter. The fact is i am lazy and i am too lazy to do anything about it. I think i am addicted.

Q: So cant you kick the habit. You told me you used to smoke and you kicked that
Phaedurs: I could. But to kick the habit you first need to sober up, and then take a concious decision. Here there are just too many fixes. And i am high most of the time.

Q: Fixes? High?
Phaedrus: Movies, Games, Books etc. All are the psychotropes of a laziness addict. Just try it out. Do nothing tommorow except play a game or watch movies. By lunch you will feel like the king of the world.

Q:Wow!!
Phaedrus: Theres a downside to it also. When you come down it really hits you hard. That'll be somewhat late at night, when your eyes hurt so much that you cant keep them open anymore. Then as you lie down and close your eyes a sinking feeling will creep over you. You will suddenly feel like the lowest of the low. You will fell almost suicidal. Watch it. Thats a dangerous moment. Its useful to read some philosophy before attempting to get high on laziness. You wont get hit that bad when you come down.

Q: You make such a big thing out of being a lazy ass
Phaedrus: So? What do all those stupid great philosophers do. Make some circular definitions, ungrammatical statements, confusing wordplay. At least i tell you life as i experience it without trying to make you think that i am a realised soul. Basically philosphers are liars. I wish i remeber the Marx quote. It goes something like "The philosopher excludes himself from the real world and then attempts to describe it"

Q: But why are you pointing fingers at others. Dont you realise the problem is with you?
Phaedrus: Now dont treat me like one of those Alchoholics Anonymous guys. I am different. I am lazy. I AM LAZY. Happy? And ok i am going for another fix. Going to play AOE. All the best with your essay.

Q: What essay?
Phaedrus: The one your company asked you to write.

Q: How the hell do you know?
Phaedrus: I am your alter ego. So lets ditch all this and go play AOE.