Tell me your dreams

Phaedrus and I were on one of our usual nightly walks around the campus when i mentioned to him that one of my friends had actually asked after him. He immediately asked me if I talked about him in my social circles.
I said "No, but I do mention u in my blog."
"Oh! Interesting, and what did this person say about me?"
"Nothing just wanted to know what happened to Phaedrus, as I haven’t been very regular on my blog."
"I suppose its okay if you write about me in your blog, but most of what I say is from stuff that I have read, so if you try to pass it off as yours you might get laughed at."
"I'll keep that in mind next time I blog." I said trying to end the conversation. It was always difficult to end a conversation with Phaedrus especially when the topic was he.
Phaedrus took the hint and we walked on for sometime without speaking- just listening to the sounds of the night and the clump of our feet as we stepped on the gravel.
At last Phaedrus decided to tell me what he really wanted to talk to me about.
"Have you heard of Dream Yoga?"
"What’s that?"
"It’s some sort of Tibetan Buddhist technique where you try and take and active part in your dreams. As you become better at controlling and acting in your dreams, u finally realise that dreams and waking life are the same, and at last awake from life into the ultimate."
I knew Phaedrus had been spending a lot of time on the internet at the cost of his academics. I thought he was just looking for porn and games, but it seemed that he had been reading up really weird stuff.
"I know you think I just read this on the net and am trying to con u into this, but it really works. I once had a dream where I knew it was a dream but was able to continue and enjoy it. There was this cliff that I was falling off. The falling was actually felt great but as i fell faster and faster the fear inside me also grew. I was falling to certain death. Then the realisation hit me. This was just a dream. I could enjoy the falling sensation as long as i wanted but the since it was a dream I wouldn’t get hurt when I hit the ground. Then it happened. I hit the ground and seemed to be in immense pain. Was I not in a dream? Was i really dying? I was scared once more. As I struggled to get up I awoke and found myself in my bed. I was really glad to be alive."
He was beginning to scare me with all this dreaming and death stuff. Especially walking alone in the wee hours of the morning just before the birds awoke. I told him that this stuff was enough for a night and that we should talk of more fun things like movies, rock or women for example. He agreed to let it go on the condition that I try it too. He asked me to do a simple exercise.
"Before you go to sleep just tell yourself that you will remember your dreams and will take an active part in them like you do in life."
With that he let it go and we continued our walk discussing some new fusion music group that I had just started listening to.

Its been a long time

I just finished my Competition and Strategy presentation. Not that I had much o do with but just giving you a background. Just came back to me room in the evening at around five. Saw Phaedrus in my room reading some book about Buddhist philosophy. What seemed to really amaze him was the so called "Middle Path". Don’t pursue happiness, don’t pursue pain. Just stay in the middle. In essence do nothing. It seemed that at last he had found something in the Ancients to defend his laziness. I told him to get up and get working for his project submissions that week, however now that he found some stupid misinterpreted philosophical crap in his defence there was no stopping him. In fact after reading that paragraph he didn’t even want to read the rest of the book. He just dropped of and surrendered to sleep. Why did he find it so easy to surrender to sleep but so difficult to surrender to sleep's sister- death.

Dont Throw Your Hand

Phaedrus woke up in the middle of the night. He had just had a dream, a vision. He dreamt that he was god. Transcending duality was what it was all about. He had the answer. So now how was he going to do it. But before he found out how to do it...
Did he really want to reach out and become infinite. Did he want to give up the comfor of his mortal life.

If awareness of self is conciousness, and the ultimate aim is to transcend that, then how can act of one's volition-a concious effort, ever lead to the ultimate.


Whats wrong with me. This isnt the first time im asking myself this question. I have all the answers too. But why dont i try to change myself. Why do i lack the will to bite the bullet. Maybe the answer to everything lies in the deeper questions of life.