Karnataka Round Trip- Dhamasthala, Surathkal

Since I said goodbye to her I've been feeling a little lost. I switch on the tv, there's a song from Chandramuki running. Its about a tam guy falling for a beutiful gult girl. Bad Idea. Switch Channels. Animax. Nothing in Animax can remind me of her. Wrong again. Whats running looks just like the stuff she would have watched and liked. Not good. I switch off the tv and try to go to sleep. It's impossible. Finally I try a book. Vikram Seth's An Equal Music. Its nice, a love story but somehow gets my mind off her. Maybe because it reminds of other parts of my life. I decide to write about my Karnataka trip hoping that it will help. So here goes

After sunset at Agumbe we headed back to Sringeri using what is know asa cut service. Now in Chennai a cut service usually means it doesnt go the full distance. Example 1-Cut would end up at Adyar, instead of all the way to Thiruvanmayur. Thats a bad example but i havent been to chennai in a long time and have forgotten all the numbers. Anyway in South Canara and neighbouring places, a cut serivce would mean breaking up the journey into multiple legs. First leg was srigeri to some weird place where a brawl was about to happen. Unfortunately the local decent guys came and managed to stop the fight with one side agreeing to take up their issues with the police. From there a bus back to Sringeri. Uncle and I wanted to head back to the temple/mutt for the evening service, while the rest wanted dinner. So we split up. The temple was even better in the evening. Much quiter and fewer people. I sat down and just enjoyed the peace of the place. Uncle also did the same. After a while doing this, Uncle's stomach began to growl, so we had to leave. The mutt canteen(I am sure there's a better name for it) was closed so we had to hunt aroundd the town for a place to eat. Uncle found a slisha shady place, so i decided to pack the meal, and had the usual Marie biscuit, frooti dinner. Then the nightly UNO game, follwed by sleep.

Some things that people will never accept
1. That they are drunk
2. That they are nasty and aggressive and the most irritating
3. THAT THEY SNORE
Out of 6 guys in that room that night 3 were snoring. I found it a little difficult to sleep amidst all that racket, but after about half an hour the days activities caught up with me and i think i joined the other 3 in "sound" sleep.

Woke up the next morning feeling great. Had a quick bath and was ready for another day of fun. There's nothing more invigorating that a bath in cold water early in the morning. A quick breakfast and we were on the road. Cut service again, after a serious of Manjunatha, Hanuman, and such buses we ended up at Netravati, a place just outside Dharmasthala. This was supposed to be a good bathing spot, with an opportunity to bathe in the flowing river, Only there seem to be more used underwer floating in the water than anything else. Was this some new custom? Come to this place and donate your old underwear to recieve spiritual salvation. The river was supposed to be holy. Then i found the cause. The water was so dirty that the underwear covered the sruface and prevented you from realsing how diry the water was till you actually jumped in. No way I am bathing in that. Thank you.

The others have no such qualms. Theyo go on to bathe in the "river", and I am knighted Sir Beedi Gaurdian of Clothes and Hajmola. I take out a book about the Vijaynagar Empire and being reading it. It holds my attention till the guys come back all "bathed".
Time to go to Dharmasthala the temple of Manjunatheshwara. Its actually maintained by a Jain family. Talk about religious tolerance!!! By the time we got there, the sun was right above our heads and it was getting hot. After a long discussion, only uncle and I seemed to have the enthu to stand in the queue and get into the temple. The rest of the guys were more interested in peth pooja( I will be in gurgaon soon, so i am depserately trying to get my hindi upto speed). After a 2 hour long ordeal, involving a sries of queues and shoves we finall entered the inner reaches of the temple. It was well worth it. A must visit for the faithful. There are only three things that i look for in any temple. The architecture/sculpture and such stuuf, whether the temple gives me a feeling of peace, and the devotion that other people have. What truly amazed me at Dharmashtala was the innumberable number of people standing barefoot in the hot sun waiting to get in. They mallu style temple also looks awesome.
Once I came out of the temple, my feet began to hurt. I had been out in the sun barefoot and not felt much till i got in, but now that i was out i was begining to felt it bad. I looked down at the soles of my feet and they looked angrily back at me. I would'nt mind having pink feet but not like this. As i was carrying on a conversationg with my feet, Uncle had found out where the free food was and we hit it. Food was good( I was ravenous), served quick and efficiently and very much like one would expect at a free food place. Seemed a lot like some Langars I've been to except on a much bigger scale.
Then it was time to try and get to mangalore. We got one of those BMTC level buses, and had to travel in it for quite some time. As usual Bond was pissed of that i slept during the journey.
We arrived in Mangalore. On the way uncle told us that it had been about five years since he had been to mangalore. And for no reason he became a little nerovus evertime he saw a single mom with a young kid.
Uncle was desperate to leave the city and we boarded a reasonably comfortable bus to Surathkal.
Everyone had told me that Mangalore is the place for the best women/ice cream in India. In 30 minutes there I didnt have any ice cream, but based on my "dip stick" survey I am unable to reject the hypothesis that Mangalore women are more good looking than anywhere in India.
There are three hotels in Surathkal. So we took the third. Seemed decent. Changed to shorts and hit the beach. Surathkal has an awesome beach. We hit the water, had great fun dunking each other in the salty water. Uncle behaved his age and preferred to watch us kids playing. Then as the sun set the effect of the lighthouse kicked in. No light but from the lighthouse. No sound but the sound of waves. Good Stuff!! Good Stuff!!
Went back to hotel, bathed, cleaned sand out of every concievable place/ aticle of clothing, and headed to have dinner. As we ordered food we started talking.
Bond Said, "Beedi, you put max enthu at the temples, and max enthu at the beach as well, what's with you."
I replied, "I like temples, i enjoy them, i like beaches, i enjoy them too. I dont see any conflict, religion is also a nice way to have fun."
"You're wierd da beedi.". So what. I had my fun. Dinner was awesome and me and baada went for an after dinner walk. No one else seemed interested.

Good Bye

This is the customary psenti-i-am-leaving post.
I wonder why you even bother to read it. Surely you have graduated before. Surely you know what it is to move on in life, to leave behind old friends and strike out in the world hoping those you meet will be as good as those you have met.
Surely you have fallen in love knowing that it is hopeless. But even if it is hopeless you know how bad it feels to say good bye to the one you love, knowing that you may never see her again.

So i will have to say good bye to her today. I May never see her again. Maybe that's good in someways. It gives me a chance to move on. I dont really want that chance. I like it this way.

You're a big liar

I was just reading Wimpy's blog. Seems he crashed and burned last night. Well... since last night seems to have been a night for such things, I might as well take a break from the Karnataka Round trip to tell you about last night.

Sometime in the afternoon , Jakes came to my room to pick up his Asterix. We were generally talking and in the conversation I said, "No one takes me seriously on bracket". In his typical dry sarcastic style, Jakes retorted with, " You can leave out the On Bracket part of it". I suppose that was a portent of things to follow, but who is bothered with such things these days.

Then convo happened. Only good part was that i got my transcripts and my degree certificate. Got my diploma shook the guy's hand and slowly walked off stage.
And of course she was also there, dressed in a sari, looking like a statue from the Belur temple come to life. I don’t know why but i kind of ignored her.

I was somehow trying to get into that feeling of nostalgia etc etc which i should have, since i had just graduated and was going to leave the place in a couple of days. So after convo, dinner, and pretending to pack for a little while, i went over to chuchee's room to have one last(?) game of diablo.
That did'nt work either, so i decided to take a nap, only to be woken up by one of those classic L^2 numbers, and Sahu's voice.
"So its a free L^2?".
"Yeah!"
"Is the bar open?"
"Yeah i think so"
Talk about raising the bar, i have always been content with just hanging out near it.
I suppose you get the picture, I went down to the bar picked up some beers, went through a complicated procedure to cool them, and started what will almost surely be my final L^2.

She was there. She always is. Beautiful as ever.
Took a sad song of one sweet evening
I smiled and quickly turned away.
It’s not easy singing sad songs
But still the easiest way I have to say.

I am not as lucky as Ian Anderson so I'll just have to stick to broken English. Things were fine till about 4.00 AM. I suppose she was drunk by this time. I know I wasnt. I had had a couple of beers, but somehow just couldn’t get in with it. Was kind of feeling nothing at all. Then she came and sat next to me. We made small talk.

And the memory stays clear with the song that you hear.
If I can but make
the words awake the feeling.

Then she said it
"Beedi I've been reading your blog". Ok now I do want people to read my blog and .., but not anyone I'm close (want to get close) to.
"Which Post?", I asked, hoping she had just skimmed some of the titles.
"A couple", she continued, "The one about your trip and another one".
I figure, if this woman has read my blog and still sits next to me and talks to me, then....
"I am crazy about you”, I blurted out.
DJ to the rescue, suddenly music volume increases and drowns my pathetic line.
"What?", she screams, "What did you say?"
"I said, I AM CRAZY ABOUT YOU!!". No DJ can save me now.
"Beedi, you're a big liar. I know there's a woman. You said so yourself in your blog. 'There's a woman, there's always a woman'".
"Yes there's a woman", I replied , "it's you, and its always going to be you". Ok I didn’t say the last part about Always maybe I should have. But Always is a long time even for an old man like me.

I now expected some reaction. Anything. I mean I just virtually told her that i was in love with her. Then it came, my past caught up with me. All my humour. That not so witty repartee, the jokes, the posts on arbit.
She started laughing. Oh! That intoxicating laughter of hers. It used to be enough to get me high. But not this time. I just felt like i had been kicked in the balls.
"You can’t be serious" she said in between her giggles.

Jakes must be smiling down on me from wherever he is. I mean just occasionally, (at times like this), I would like people to take me seriously. But seems that’s not happening. I try again.
"I think you're awesome, and really care about you.", Much better. She's stopped laughing. At least now I know she takes me seriously.
"Beedi, I have a boyfriend".
"Yeah I know, he’s a nice guy. I am glad you two got together".
Ok now you're thinking is this guy just plain dumb. I mean on the one hand you tell her you're crazy about her, on the other you are telling her that she should stick with her current boyfriend. (Wow I just read the previous line, I should have become and economist, even though my grade card "begs" to differ).

Anyway back to the point, I am sitting here the next morning trying to rationalize what I did. I suppose its something to do with Oscar Wilde complex. It goes something like: I would never want to join any club that would accept me as a member. I suppose i could adapt it to: I would never want any girl i cared about to go out with a guy like me.So there you have it a logical explanation for my schizoid behaviour. Its a mental paradox. Nothing to do with MPD.


So here's hoping you've faith in impossible schemes,
that are born in the sigh of the wind blowing by
while the dimming light brings the end to a night of loving.

Karnataka Round Trip- Sringeri, Agumbe

I've been waiting for baada to write his blog about our trip, but he hasnt yet. In all fairness to him it was a tiring trip and we're still recovering from the after effects.
I kind of decided to to write my own version of the trip, so here goes the first part.

The trip started at Bannergatta road on the 17th of March, 2006 AD. After agreeing to a chennai style blackmail from the auto driver we managed to break the sound barrier and arrived at majestic (kempe gowda bus stand) about 5 mins before our bus was to depart. We then had to convice the conductor that we were three of the six guys who had reserved tickets and that the other 3 were coming with the tickets. He seemed pretty cool about it.
So it began.
I was sitting in the second last row of a rajahamsa bus on my way to sringeri, next to Uncle-our tour guide for the trip. I was quite excited. After a long time i was travelling again.
My dad happened to call and was kind of elated that i was going to Sringeri. After all, which tam brahm dad would not be happy that his son was going to holiday at one of the spiritual centres of Advaitha. He immediately gave me a list of things that i should do there. I had to make it clear to him that i was with friends, among whom were vamshi the agnostic and battad the hedonist, hence such drawn out rituals would not be possible. Luckily when we arrived we found that the pontiff wasnt in town. Was kind of relieved. Gave me a good enough excuse with my folks. The place was simply beautiful and the temples were really amazing, extremely peaceful.
The kind of set me off thinking about my family's attitude to my religion.. I came up with a kind of allegory. If you bake a tasty cake and leave it on the table, then tell the kid that its really tasty, he might sometime try it out and enjoy it and really end up liking cake. On the other hand if you catch hold of the kid and stuff it down his throat not only will he choke and spit it out, he might never go near cake ever again.
The math (read mutt) at Sringeri offers free food to any devotee who comes there. Of course in the truest hindu tradition this is also casteist. The twice born were lucky enough to get special treatment and eat in a better cleaner place. I am sorry for being so against it but i think that unless my religion gets over this casteist mindset its going to be in trouble sooner rather than later. Well me being the hyppocrite decided(didnt oppose Uncle) to eat in the better cleaner place while still cribbing.
btw baada has just put up the first part of his post on the trip so i guess he's still as efficient as ever, but i might as well finish mine
Lunch was pretty awesome. Typical 3 courses + desert. Then it was time for us to take an afternoon nap. Sadly my plans were thwarted by the evil UNO . After a smashing game in which i made sure the guys next to me didnt win (though i finished second last) we decided to move our rear ends and head to Agumbe. Agumbe is supposed to be a traditional Kannada honeymoon spot and has such references in Kannada literature, so says Uncle.
After saying this Uncle became very quite, and began staring at the setting sun. He then whispered that he was feeling nostalgic. I never thought a guy like Uncle could be nostalgic about anything. But then i was to discover a lot of things on this trip.

Looks like its all over

I am writing this post using opera, and its showing me ads of the Didgeridoo Gallery. Seems kind of wierd that my blog brings up ads of didgeridoos.

I just got one of the most awaited mails if my life

"Your Product Management grade is 2.70
Please contact PGP office for any further clarifications. All the Best, HB RAMACHANDRA PGP Office
"
That means that I WILL be graduating on March 28th.
Having just recieved and accepted a job offer yesterday this became all the more important. And as i promised one of my friends its time to break open the bubbly.
But before i do i just have a few thoughts about the placement process, in particular the media hype about it.
Theres just been a post on our local messagins system calling everyone to a particular place to celbrate the expected completion of final placements 2006.
I've had reservations about actually posting this. I actually wrote this a few days back as soon as the effect of the media hype had sunk in. In fact thats probably why its so vitriolic.

For those of you who dont know, the IIMs(and most Mgmt Institutes in India) have a segmented placement process. The companies are segmented into
1. Slot/Day Zero: I-banks/Consults/amd anything similar offering lots of money or foreing posting
2. Slot/Day 1: Anything which has bank after its name, couple of big soap companies,a few slot zero type companies which dont have the brand image good enuff to be at slot zero and some it companies added for good measure.
3. Slot/Day 2: The rest
4. Slot/Day 3: The rest
... and so on ad he whole batch is placed.
Of course there are laddering and other solutions where some companies are Slot 0.4 or Slot 1.6 or even 1.4. Its all really wierd.
Bascially what this means is if you are marketing/it guy you have limited chances till Slot 2 actually starts. Which is fine, except this time the Great Indian Media Industry had other ideas
They along with the PR guys of the various IIMS came up with creative masterpieces both in print and in tv to hype up the entire placement process.
Since i am in an IIM all i can say for certain is that the aim of any press release is to out do the other IIMS and to make sure that nothing in it can be disproved. Dont get me wrong i am all for competition and competing for media share is also important. And there's no point in being holier than thou and spreaking of theoritical constructs like the "truth".
Dont get me wrong Day Zero offers are awesome and the careers of these people is really stellar to say the least and they hype behind them is worth it.
However there are other consequences of such hype.
On the morning of slot 1 here, when the larger part of the batch was yet to be placed, the whole world began to assume that everyone here already had a Day Zero kind of offer in hand. By that i mean parents/friends of students yet to be placed. Everyone started recieveing phone calls, emails and orkut scraps congratulating them and asking them about their offers. It was kind of ok for me because i had already one offer(not day zero but still...) and most people i knew, knew about that and hence there wasnt much ado.
It can be really nasty when you are tense about getting any job and someone asks you if you are going to New York or London. In fact one of my friends who is kind of popular actually had to change his orkut profile to indicate that he was still looking for a job and that he would inform one and all once he made it.
Just imagine you've attended a million interviews for a zillion jobs, with no positive response. You come back to your room to tired to stay awake, too worried to sleep and someone calls you up and asks you how many millions you will be making.

I dont know what can be done about this, but there was a lot of unnecessary pressure on guys who are already really stressed out and i think this can be avoided. My only suggestion is to kind of start playing the media game only once the entire batch is placed.

Nostalgia

It’s almost certain. It looks like I am actually going to graduate. It’s been a nice two years here. I've come a long way it seems. From only reading about Black Feminist Literature in RC passages to actually reading Black Feminist Literature.

Actually I was reading this book by Toni Morrison. Kind of feels like the Blues equivalent in literature. Well here's a quote by her " Jazz Music was not originally for anyone but its players. It was always clear what its painful sources were. And yet it does what art is supposed to do-it makes another thing possible. This is how I want my work to be- a private thing for public consumption." That last part kind of sums up my blog. A private thing for public consumption.

On to the topic of this post!!
Kind of sad, Kind of glad that its all over(I hope). I’ve felt this way twice before. First when I was graduating from High School. I never thought about it as Graduation from High School till many of my friends went to the US of A and began to call it that. There was no real ceremony. In fact this is the first time I might actually be involved in a ceremony. But anyway there were a lot of opportunities then too. People going to different places, lots of new things to do and try. Everyone was busy hunting future opportunities, while I seem to have locked in something reasonably comfortable, and was (am) chilling out. No great or stellar opportunities for me, but mediocrity handed on a platter. Well I confess it was easy then and it is easy this time as well. I lapped it up.
Just get into some engineering college and relax. Just get a coding job and play games. Just get an IT job and chill out.
Well I did it. Each time I wanted something I’ve always got it, and pretty easily too. Maybe I don’t want enough.
It’s easy to stop comparing yourself to other people, but it’s really tough to stop comparing yourself to what you might have been.
Forget it Beedi. There is no what might have been. There is only here and now.

Of course this time around as well there is also a woman. There always has to be a woman. This time around as well it’s kind of doomed. Too little too late. But then haven’t all great love stories been tragedies.

Well here’s a quote from Giorgias’ Encomium of Helen which I just fell like quoting for no particular reason
“She had godlike beauty, which taking and not mistaking, she kept. In many did she work much desire for her love, and her one body was the cause of bringing together many bodies of men thinking great thoughts for great goals, of whom some had greatness of wealth, some the glory of ancient nobility, some the vigor of personal agility, some command of acquired knowledge. And all came because of a passion which loved to conquer and a love of honor which was unconquered. Who it was and why and how he sailed away, taking her as his love, I shall not say. To tell the knowing what they know shows it is right but brings no delight.”
Beedi you’ve lost it. Go Mug for placements

Yeah I will let me just finish this part

So why is this time different?
This is the first time that I’ve realised that its happened before and its happening again. Well let’s see. This time around I’ve decided that I am going try out something new every now and then. Lets start with music, since it involves the least effort. I’ve started listening to trance. I never thought I would say this but some of that stuff is good. It’s a nice contrast to depressing blues and psychedelic rock(floyd). Maybe I should try remixing some songs from Obscured by Clouds. I am sure Waters and Gilmour would commit suicide if they hear about it, but what the hell.